The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily by Laura Creedle

Author:Laura Creedle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Rosalind dropped me back home around ten. Mom was working at the dining room table. I steeled myself for another round of conflict about my wildly unimportant grades.

Mom looked up from her work. “Come talk with me, Lily.”

I slumped into the chair across from her, arms folded.

“You know, I don’t remember telling you that you could visit your father this summer.”

“But you did, Mom! We were in the car driving home after I broke the wall. And then earlier—”

“Okay, if you say I did, I did.” Mom rubbed a hand over her eyes and left a little clump of mascara on her cheek. I longed to reach over and wipe it off.

“We can see about a visit, but you can’t go live with your dad. I don’t think he can take care of you. He can barely take care of himself, and it’s just not—”

“I can take care of myself,” I said quickly.

“You’re sixteen! You can’t take care of yourself, honey.”

A lump formed in my throat. I understood—finally. She was keeping me from my dad because she didn’t want me to end up like him—picking beets and milking goats, poor as dirt. Happy. Mom still held out hope of turning me into Iris, but it was too late for that. I’d never be like Iris.

“Well, that makes me just like Dad, doesn’t it?” I stood and pushed away from the table. “I should be living with him.”

“Lily, that doesn’t even make sense. Someone has to pay the bills and get you to school on time. You don’t even do your own laundry. Do you think your dad will—”

“Fuck you,” I said. Bitter angry tears rose in my eyes, but I wasn’t going to cry in front of her. “You never understood Dad. He’s not like you.”

“I don’t even know how to get in touch with your dad,” she said, but I wasn’t listening.

I went to my bed and put in earbuds and turned up the music too loud. It was too much. I was done. I’d find my dad if Abelard and I had to go farm to farm in Portland looking for him.

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